Hmmmm what to write about 2015 that I havent already written and put out there for you to read. What is there that I still need to say out loud.....
One year just passed and one is ahead of me. So many experienecs I received in 2015, so many emotions popped out, so many people I've met, words which have been said out loud. So many messages sent, blogs and emails written, so many wishes and fears expressed. So many solo evenings and dates with my friends. I don't think I would have ever said this a few months ago, but 2015 was one of the best years in my life. One that made me grow up and started to love myself. Yes, I think this was the biggest lesson, to accept me for who I am. With all my flaws and screwed up editions and cried out hours, but then again me, with my soft soul and this urging need to help people and just be there for them when no body else is and when they don't even know how to be alone with themselves. 2015 was a vivid year. I had to stand up for myself. Every day, every hour and every moment. I fell many many times, but then again I got up many many times too. I started to make my dreams come true and even though I still dont quite know how will I get there, I know that my intution knows the way and I'm learning how to be patient and wait. And sometimes also stop and not just wait. I felt disappointed and surprised, betrayed and loved, sexy and ugly, capable and incapable. I felt like queen and like the ugly duck, I was on the stage and on my kneews sometimes to get there. Yet I never gave up. I needed help, I admit. I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, I'm not allmighty - thank god, I have the guts to admit that too. I met Jack the bear and my two wolves. They're alway here when I need them and Jack has all the answers. Friends showed their true colours. Each and every one of them. I'm endlessly grateful for that.
Yeah, I doubt one has many 2015-s in a lifetime.
As a difference to last year, I start 2016 calmer. Very calm actually. Stronger. Much more confident. Again in love with life. With a renewed faith in God. With strange wishes: I wish to climb a certain mountain which ever since I was a little girl seemed as unreachable to me and in 2016 I will stand on top of it and shout I can do it. I can climb up there. I wish to again sit in a plane and leave the life to seduce me and never let me go! And my biggest wish is to help more people realise they're not alone. To make them feel they have life to live, to show it's okay to be weak, to cry and not to have all the answers. I wish to be there for them, when they start walking. Baby steps.
So in 2016 I wish you all to walk - not to stand still or run, but to do as many baby steps as you need to meet yourself and smile with your heart. I wish you the courage to start walking and persistance never to give up. You will stumble, you will fall, you will rest and on the way you will meet many different creatures from life and imagination, but never ever stop, because the view from top is worth it. At least that's what I was told, you see, I'm walking too, just by your side.
p.s. follow me also on Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment