Me, myself and I

How many times have you asked yourself who are you? And I don't mean labels like, a daughter, a friend, a lover, a sister, a grandmother, a mother, a colleague, a boss etc etc etc. And I also don't mean who you think you should be, who the world around thinks you are or who you plan to be in the future. Just answer to a simple questions: who am I?

For me having no asnwer to this questions at first came as a shock! How can I not have an answer to a question? And trust me, there are rare moments when I have nothing to say. How can I not know to the most basic questions there is in this world - who am I? And for a change I didn't start to dig in by using brains and elaborating all possible relationships and positions and memberships...nope, I used a different method, I started to realize what and how I feel? What were the first emotions popping up when asking this questions which I remembered and where were I, when this occurred?

Interestingly my intuition brought me abroad....it brought me to times, when I lived alone in a foreign country. When I allowed myself to be me. To walk around in a black hat, red lipstick and feel free. When there was no pressure of who knows you and who doesn't. When I was 20 and the world was mine. It brought me to Turkey, London, Berlin, rest of UK and the USA. It brought me to green trousers, pink laced socks and golden high heels. It brought me to Turkish-Greek gay-lesbian parties and shaking that bootie of mine. It brought me to undergournd Berlin parties and long tube stairways to clubs in London. It brought me to Turkish seaside and long travels around lonesome borders with end of Europe. It brought me New York bookshops and cafes, art galleries and concerts. It brought me to parks and lying on the grass and staring at clouds. It brought me to the jungle and lonely islands. Reading books and listening to crickets, eating dinners with friends. It brought me to the nature and my magic oak-tree. It brought me to horses and dogs. It brought me to kitchens and wine cellars. It brought me home.

So now my homework is to discover, which things I'm doing just now in life make me feel this way.