It hit me the other day during a short conversation, how connected we truly are. Actually, the first image I see are scenes from the movie Avatar...when they "plug their hair" together and feel the vibe. When the sacred tree falls and they somewhat die with it. The reality is pretty much the same, at least as per my experiences so far. We are all interconnected and when one of us changes, this change affects every one around us. When you board on the train of facing yourself, it's indeed very challenging. Not easy and many inner energy is used to move the wheels of transformation. Many energy is spent on facing yourself, fears and joys inside of us. But then we also need to be aware of the fact, that many energy is (will be) spent on facing the actual changes in our reality. The interconnection is like a puppet-master and moves us and people around us, physically and psychologically. The inner shifts are reflected in our every day and this is what I would like to point out today. My intention is not to scare you, far from it, just to make you conscious that personal growth does have "side effects", which instantly are not pleasant but on a long rung surely bring you where you need to be with whom you need to be.
Again I will write from my own experiences, can't really do it no other way.When I entered into my transformation phase back in 2009 I had many "friends". I was surrounded by people 24/7. People I called friends, but really had no idea who a true friend is. And slowly, like autumn leaves, they started to leave my life. It wasn't that we argued or had a fight. I simply felt nervous with them, they didn't fulfill me, I had no energy and our paths were separated. Our train wagons went each its own way. And at first it was difficult Difficult to somehow not have so many people in my life. Yet only now I know, they were with me until I needed them and when I started to change, our vibes didn't match anymore. It went on and on and on. And during the time, when I was crushed and sad and lonely and a shadow of myself, and didn't go out, cancelled all invitations to birthdays, I realized who's with me. And then something changed. I started to build myself up and since our souls are connected and we didn't part, they started to change themselves too. I caused a chain-reaction. It sounds very important when I put it this way, but to be honest, we all finally put our masks down. What I wanted to say as the first consequence or reflection if you wanna call it, people left my life. Many many people left my life. And with people who are around me, we grew stronger. And when people leave you, it's not the nicest feeling in the world. You sometimes feel lonely and strange, wonder what's going on and what did I do wrong. It's all okay. It's just a change. Breathe in and breathe out.
Second important change has been a shift in family relations. Uuuuu that was a special chapter indeed. Firstly, I was clearing out issues with my mother. And as firstly I mean for a good year or two. Then came the hardest part, my father. Here I had to dig deep, to be able to stand up for myself and actually tell him what hurt me the most and caused the largest pain in me. And in between there were times, when I didn't believe we're ever going to talk to each other again. Personal growth causes earthquakes inside a family. One that will tear all badly built object to crash down and only strong foundations can stay. Imagine a square and we have 4 family members. Each member stands in one corner and hold a rope, which goes around all corners and is equally tense. Then imagine that somebody pulls the rope strong - the other might fall. What if somebody simply left the rope of all habits and generation long patterns? This is how it goes, when one member of the family starts working on him or herself. Other members cannot project their shadow anymore and things have to change. People have to change and this process can hurt. You might hear things you don't really want to and then simultaneously, you might tell others what might hurt them. But that too is okay. Nature is built to develop and grow. A baby doesn't stay a baby, it learns how to crawl, stand on its own feet and then learns to walk and run and jump. Don't be a baby, learn how to walk on your own. Even it means you knees will be bumped and bruised, but only by gaining experiences, someday you might climb that hill of yours and feel like on the top of the world. And family needs to grow too, its members need to move, power play changes and this is okay. Life changes. We are first kids, teenagers and then grow up. Soon, our life curve moves down again and we become grandparent and basically kids again. It's normal that family relations will change. So talk to each other. Otherwise you will all be hurt much more as you should have been.
And then of course we come to our romantic relations. The hardest chapter, one which has some of the strongest influence on our life. I really believe that we meet people for a certain purpose and more importantly to grow with each other. If one person grows and the other doesn't we separate. No drama, no deeper meaning, a very simple truth. And accept this with peace. You will meet somebody new, who will again be there, to teach you something. He or she might stay or might go. We always have 50% chances. It is only when one person is ready and willing to grow and the other wishes to stay still - cause let's be honest, comfort zone is difficult to let go, we will be hurt. But that too is okay. Do we really want to be with some one who doesn't want us to grow and develop and consequently be happier, even if that means that our ego is slowly dying and we might not always be right and we will need to make compromises? Do you really want to have the same relationship at 45 when you were 28? So yes, if you are on your path to personal transformation, change of partner can be a collateral damage. But guess what, Life will bring you somebody new, who will make you even happier, so again, all is a okay.
So this is also one aspect of personal growth, one that nobody talks about. It's not all rainbows and butterflies, it's also tears and strong words, but in the end it's worth it. You will feel tons lighter, no weight on your chest, you will set your boundaries and most of all get to know people around you. So let all things and all people go. If they are meant to be in your life, they will change with you and life might again unit you after a while. Just never give up, cause if you would, because side effects were too tiring, you'd give up on yourself.
And p.s. - Universe moves in the same vibe...be observant how people around you move, you might be surprised ;).
Second important change has been a shift in family relations. Uuuuu that was a special chapter indeed. Firstly, I was clearing out issues with my mother. And as firstly I mean for a good year or two. Then came the hardest part, my father. Here I had to dig deep, to be able to stand up for myself and actually tell him what hurt me the most and caused the largest pain in me. And in between there were times, when I didn't believe we're ever going to talk to each other again. Personal growth causes earthquakes inside a family. One that will tear all badly built object to crash down and only strong foundations can stay. Imagine a square and we have 4 family members. Each member stands in one corner and hold a rope, which goes around all corners and is equally tense. Then imagine that somebody pulls the rope strong - the other might fall. What if somebody simply left the rope of all habits and generation long patterns? This is how it goes, when one member of the family starts working on him or herself. Other members cannot project their shadow anymore and things have to change. People have to change and this process can hurt. You might hear things you don't really want to and then simultaneously, you might tell others what might hurt them. But that too is okay. Nature is built to develop and grow. A baby doesn't stay a baby, it learns how to crawl, stand on its own feet and then learns to walk and run and jump. Don't be a baby, learn how to walk on your own. Even it means you knees will be bumped and bruised, but only by gaining experiences, someday you might climb that hill of yours and feel like on the top of the world. And family needs to grow too, its members need to move, power play changes and this is okay. Life changes. We are first kids, teenagers and then grow up. Soon, our life curve moves down again and we become grandparent and basically kids again. It's normal that family relations will change. So talk to each other. Otherwise you will all be hurt much more as you should have been.
And then of course we come to our romantic relations. The hardest chapter, one which has some of the strongest influence on our life. I really believe that we meet people for a certain purpose and more importantly to grow with each other. If one person grows and the other doesn't we separate. No drama, no deeper meaning, a very simple truth. And accept this with peace. You will meet somebody new, who will again be there, to teach you something. He or she might stay or might go. We always have 50% chances. It is only when one person is ready and willing to grow and the other wishes to stay still - cause let's be honest, comfort zone is difficult to let go, we will be hurt. But that too is okay. Do we really want to be with some one who doesn't want us to grow and develop and consequently be happier, even if that means that our ego is slowly dying and we might not always be right and we will need to make compromises? Do you really want to have the same relationship at 45 when you were 28? So yes, if you are on your path to personal transformation, change of partner can be a collateral damage. But guess what, Life will bring you somebody new, who will make you even happier, so again, all is a okay.
So this is also one aspect of personal growth, one that nobody talks about. It's not all rainbows and butterflies, it's also tears and strong words, but in the end it's worth it. You will feel tons lighter, no weight on your chest, you will set your boundaries and most of all get to know people around you. So let all things and all people go. If they are meant to be in your life, they will change with you and life might again unit you after a while. Just never give up, cause if you would, because side effects were too tiring, you'd give up on yourself.
And p.s. - Universe moves in the same vibe...be observant how people around you move, you might be surprised ;).
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